Time

Dear Max,

It has been a long time since I sent a letter your way. I apologize for that. I have so many things to tell you and I don't know where to begin!

Gramma is inside right now, but, that won't last long. It is Spring, you know. Gramma and Papa mow all the time now. When Gramma is not mowing, she is pulling weeds and planting seeds. Hey, that rhymes! I must be a poet dog.

Gramma mowed us dog's yard today. I like a yard with short grass. I have not forgotten about that snake Gramma killed by the wood pile. I wish she had not mentioned that part about snakes coming into our yard, though. She was grumbling about Toni digging holes in the back yard. She said she had to step lightly, whatever that means. I am just happy that she mowed my yard.

Toni Louise spends a lot of time outside. I like to go out and play for a bit, but I prefer to be indoors. While Gramma and Papa are outside it is cool and quiet in the sitting room. I like to curl up on the love seat where Gramma usually sits and take a nice nap. Oscar prefers his blanket on the floor. Gramma calls it his nest. That is so confusing to me. Birds have nests, we are dogs. We do not lay eggs. I do like to eat eggs, though. Papa let me have some of his one time and I was pleasantly surprised at just how good they tasted. These were chicken eggs.

Papa says we should have some chickens here at the kampground. I thought it was a fine idea, but Gramma said she was not taking care of livestock in addition to all her other duties. Livestock? What is livestock? Oscar says it is farm animals; like cows and pigs and chickens. He says we are a step above these animals. We are much more intelligent. Gramma told Papa that this is not a farm, but a kampground and there would be no livestock and that was the end of it.

I have something very sad to report. I bet you don't remember when you were a tiny pup and you lived here for a whole week, do you? Remember how Gramma wrapped you in a little blanket and held you when you whimpered? Well, she did. She wanted you to feel loved even before you got to meet your boy. If you will recall, there were four of us dogs here. Toni Louise was the one who wanted to roll you around like a ball. I was the one trying to impart all my wisdom to you. I actually saved you from the antics of Toni several times. Oscar was the old grouchy one that was opposed to sharing with you. Nothing personal, mind you, he is like that with all of us. Then there was Emmy. Emmy was not much bigger than you and she washed your face and ears. She had puppies long ago and was still very maternal.

Emmy had a hard winter and her back hurt quite a bit. She lost the feeling in one of her legs and found walking to be difficult. Gramma carried her most every where she went. Gramma was worried about her a lot. I heard Papa and Gramma talk about Emmy and how hard it would be when it was "time". I didn't know what they meant by "time" and Oscar refused to talk about it. If I asked he got very upset and would turn his back to me. Toni said it must me time to go outside or time to play or time to go to bed.

It has only been two weeks since I learned what this "time" was that they spoke of. Emmy woke one morning and would not stop whimpering. If Gramma tried to pick her up she would yelp really loud. She was hurting so bad. Gramma was crying and she made a phone call. She spoke about it being time for Emmy. She was crying when she hung up the phone. She called Papa and told him to come home. She wrapped Emmy in one of us dog's towels and sat holding her and crying while she waited for Papa. I sat next to them, as close to Gramma and Emmy as I could get.

When Papa came, Gramma told all of us to tell Emmy goodbye. Emmy was sleeping, but she opened her eyes to look at us. I licked her face, but she didn't lick me back. She was still in pain. Oscar did not want to tell her goodbye, but Gramma held Emmy down to him. They just looked at each other. Toni Louise tried to pull Emmy down and Gramma had to push her away .... but she didn't scold Toni. Then Papa brought the car to the door and Gramma got in with Emmy.

They did not have Emmy when they came back. Toni reminded me about the time she went to the vet and had surgery. She said that Emmy might just be in the animal hospital and would come home later. Oscar still refused to talk. All he wanted to do was eat and sleep. He did not even care that Toni and I were eating with him. He didn't care that Toni stole his pink ball. And the pink one is his very favorite. You can play with the blue ones and the green ones and we have a purple one, but the pink one is his favorite.

Gramma and Papa were very sad. Gramma would be doing something and all of a sudden she would pick up something that belonged to Emmy and sniff it and then cry. One day she went to her car while she was getting ready to go somewhere. She came in with the towel she had wrapped Emmy in the last time I saw her. She let us dogs sniff it. Oh, what joy we felt as we all smelled her smell. Toni's tail was wagging crazy fast as she kept telling me that Emmy was back.

But, Emmy was not back. Oscar picked the towel up and shook it and shook it. He let it drop to the floor and he crawled under it and back out again. He turned it this way and that way, but he could not find her. I felt sick. I crawled to a corner and lay down. I could not watch Oscar frantically searching for his wife-dog. After a time he picked the towel up and took it to his bed and lay on it. He did not sleep. He was so sad. That is when I knew what "time" was.

It was Emmy's time to travel over the rainbow to be with all the dogs that had lived good lives. Gramma held me and told me that Emmy was with Sarge and Louise and Crash. She told me that Emmy's back was healed and that she was running and playing with all her new friends. Oscar was not to be comforted that day. He is doing much better now, though. Gramma said he was trying to eat himself to death, so she has been limiting his food.

We all still miss Emmy and Gramma says we always will. Gramma is pushing me out of her lap now. She has to go move a sprinkler in her garden. I will write again soon. In the meantime, be good to your boy and try to be good for his mom.

Your mentor dog, Wall-E

Cats

Dear Max,

Gramma told us dogs that you have a cat living at your house. I don't know how I would like it, having a cat. When I came here to live with Gramma and Papa, there was a cat named Gremlin in residence. He was not happy to have me here. He even wrote a letter to our boy about me. It was less than flattering, let me tell you! He referred to me as "that creature".

He went to Cat Heaven not long after my arrival here. He liked to torment us dogs by jumping to a place higher than we could reach, then dangling his tail to tease us. At night when Gramma and Papa would sit in the living room, he would sit on the back of the sofa and rub Gramma's neck. Gramma liked that. Gremlin very much preferred Gramma to Papa, and Papa is the one who brought him to our home! He gave this cat to Gramma as a gift. I sit on the back of the sofa behind Gramma now. She says that I am her neck pillow.

As you know, the puppy called Toni enjoys looking out the window. I used to do that a lot, but I have discovered that I can catch a nap and she will alert me if anything interesting shows up. She barks at everything. Gramma tells her to stop. As soon as the weather warms up and Gramma puts out the Hummingbird feeders, she will be barking non-stop! She tries to chase geese that are flying way up in the sky. She chases her own tail, too. She really is not all that smart.

For quite some time we have been seeing some cats on our front porch. One is yellow striped and the other is black. Papa feeds them, but not too much. Gramma says that they are mousers. This means that they catch mice and eat them. I find this to be rather disgusting and am very grateful that I am not a cat!


The black cat does not seem to be afraid of Gramma. Gramma put some cat food in the bowl for her. If they eat mice, what is the cat food made of? Oh, no ....... I have eaten this cat food before!

The yellow cat joined the black cat and stared at Gramma. Gramma was talking to these cats in her softest voice. Here kitty kitty.

They both ignored her and turned their backs to eat.

Here kitty, kitty .......... They just licked their chops and stared.

All the while that Gramma was outside taking pictures and feeding the cats, the crazy puppy called Toni was whining and crying at the storm door. She stuck her nose to the bottom of the door and cried as she sniffed the air outside. I joined her and she was right, the air was ripe with essence of cat smell. Gramma ignored us as she called to these cats. And this is why I don't care for cats ........ she ignored us dogs.

When she finally came back inside she reported that these cats who chase mice and eat them were not ready to let her touch them. She said that they should warm up to her soon. She also said that the cat with yellow stripes has a limp. She swept the porch while she was outside and said there was evidence of a battle on one side of the porch with lots of white and yellow cat fur. She did tell us that she did not find any blood. I am not sure how I feel about this. I want to say that we don't need more pets here at our house, but, I thought that when Papa brought the puppy called Toni home. I must confess that I rather like having her around.

So, tell me, Max, what is it like having a cat around? Is she bigger than you? Does she steal your food? Have you had an opportunity to taste hers? Gramma says that I am a very inquisitive creature. Then she said some little ditty about curiosity killing the cat. I am beginning to think I will never figure this woman out!

Please talk to your boy and convince him to write back!

Your curious friend, Wall-E

Peanut Butter

Dear Max,

The puppy called Toni is a strange creature, let me tell you. She likes to chew everything. Firewood is one of her favorites. She has even chewed up some ceramic tiles. She brought one to our bed and I gave it a try. Don't try one, it was nasty. She is licking the coffee table, as you can see. Gramma warned her that she would not tolerate some things. Toni's middle name is Louise. Louise was a big dog like Georgie. Louise ate the coffee table Gramma used to have. Really, I have seen pictures. Gramma must have loved Louise a whole lot. She said that the puppy called Toni acted a lot like Louise........

Louise ate wood, so does Toni

Louise likes to run away, so does Toni

Louise didn't care if she got scolded, neither does Toni

See what I mean? We had some small kongs that Gramma would fill with peanut butter. I could work on one of those for days. Oscar has the longest tongue in the world (one of the qualities that led Jill to not like him) and he can slurp his clean in no time. Emmy no longer cares for this activity of working to get our treat. She says it is undignified and prefers to have her small soft treats handed to her as she sits upon the couch. So, Gramma gave Emmy's kong to Toni Louise.

I was going to show you the remains of this kong, but Gramma forgot to take a picture before she swept the remains into the dust pan

So, as you can see, Gramma simply gave her the almost empty peanut butter jar. She was hiding under the table, until Gramma lifted it. Boy, was she surprised! Gramma told us dogs to take a look at her. I did. Gramma thought she was so cute. Personally, I thought she looked a little goofy, carrying that empty jar in her mouth.

She spent almost three days on this jar and she managed to lick every single bit of peanut butter out of it. By the time she was done Gramma was sweeping pieces into the dustpan.

Do you like peanut butter? I do, but not as much as the puppy called Toni does. It gets on my white fur and Gramma looks at me suspiciously and asks if I have been rolling in something nasty. This usually results in a bath. I do not enjoy baths and even the tasty peanut butter is not worth the risk!

Until next time, I remain your faithful dog friend, Wall-E

Happy New Year Resolutions

Dear Max,

Happy New Year. I am not sure what all the fuss is about, but everybody says it. Miss Nan and Miss Barb came to see us yesterday and they said it to Gramma. So, I am wishing you a happy one, too. If I wish you this, will that mean that you will be happy for a whole year? Or, does it just mean that I am hoping you will have a happy year? What if I don't really like someone? Am I supposed to say "Bad New Year"?

Gramma and Papa were talking about resolutions. These are things you want to do in the coming year. Gramma calls them goals. Papa says he wants to makes lots of money. I don't know why that made Gramma laugh. She said she just wanted to find the last part of her mind that she has lost. Papa agreed that her goal was a good one. I did not know about this resolution thing until I heard them talking.

So, I asked Oscar if he also participated in this resolution making. He was annoyed because I woke him to ask this. He said his resolution was to bite the one who wakes him from a good nap. I wanted to know more about this making of resolutions, but he was not in a mood for conversation. I went to look for Emmy. She was hiding under a blanket ..... also sleeping.

She said her resolution was to have Papa build a ramp that will make her trips outside a little easier. She admitted that resolutions were actually goals that should be something that are accomplished by the ones making them; but, she is old and set in her ways .......... and darn near perfect, so she decided to choose something for Papa to accomplish.

Emmy says that humans makes these resolutions, but they fail more often than not. I asked why they even bothered. Emmy says that it makes them feel good to set these new goals. This information is not helping me make my resolution. I understand that it should be something about me that needs to change to make me a better dog. I just don't know what that could be.

I don't run from Gramma. I don't bite Gramma (she bites back). I am a good dog. I greet visitors. I sleep all night. I keep Papa warm. I do not like to go out in the rain and sometimes I pee on the floor and then try to hide the evidence. Gramma does not like this. Maybe this should be my resolution. To get over my fear of going outside in the rain. Gramma would appreciate this. I think this is my resolution.

Toni Louise has many choices! I tried to explain the concept to her. I even suggested that she choose to stop escaping out the front door and running from Gramma. She says that she loves freedom and does not want to choose that one. She is too busy chewing up a piece of firewood to really discuss this making of resolutions. She chews everything. She even chews ceramic tiles. She brings them into bed at night, providing yet another suggestion for a resolution. But, I give up.

How about you, Max? Have you chosen a resolution? Did my boy choose one? I hope you choose a really good one. Gramma says that Gavin's mom says that you are the best dog in the world, but, really ......... I thought Emmy held that title. She says she does. Gramma says that every dog's owner should feel that way about their dogs. I guess that makes you one lucky dog. Papa just said that everyone was wrong, because I am the best dog in the world. I must say that I am enjoying this contest!

Until next time, I wish for you happy new year ........... from one best dog in the world to another best dog in the world.

Your best dog-friend, Wall-E

Jealousy and Cruelty To Animals

Dear Max,

Today has been very trying, let me tell you! I hope you never have to experience the kind of day I am having. It started out normal enough ........

Gramma had her coffee while sitting on the couch with us dogs. It was my turn to sit closest to her leg and she would take a sip of coffee, then pet my head and then look at her computer again. She reads her e-mails and sometimes she even talks to the computer. I know that you can video chat on-line, but that is not what she is doing. She just says what she is thinking out loud.

After the coffee was gone, she headed into the kitchen. First she fed us dogs and changed our water. Then she put some clothes in that machine that washes them. She mumbled something about Papa needing to be more careful when he was playing in oil and doing stuff with cars. Then she started making cookies. Emmy ran to tell all of us dogs to be on stand-by. We like it when she is making yummy stuff like cookies. Sometimes she spills stuff and one time she even dropped a whole pan of freshly baked cookies. All of dogs still remember that day as one of the best days we ever had!

I was in the kitchen, on the look-out, when I heard Papa come up in his truck. Actually, I heard the puppy called Toni barking her special bark that lets us all know that Papa is outside. Gramma went back to put something else in the machine that washes clothes and Papa walked into the kitchen. Max, my little friend, I could not believe my eyes!

Papa was carrying a little puppy in his arms! I have never felt so betrayed!


That is not all ......... there was another dog right outside our door!! Why would Papa want more dogs? Why did he think it would be okay to put this girl dog in my kennel? MY KENNEL!


And the little puppy? Gramma gave her a bath and started calling her Sadie. Oh, this is not a good sign! Toni ran right up to this puppy who is stealing Gramma's affection. I just continued barking at the intruder, even when Gramma scolded me.

While it is true that I came into this home and was an intruder at first, I am not ready to share with yet another dog. It is also true that I did not like Toni at first, but really like her a lot now. I did not like you either and cannot express how happy I was when we left you with my boy on that trip. But, I like you okay now. I really like teaching you things you need to know.

Hey, maybe Gramma is getting the puppy known as Sadie ready for one of Gavin's cousins!! Now, that would be okay. I remember that one of the very first things she did when you came in our house was to bathe you ......... she bathed Toni right away, too ..... and she is still here. And there are TWO of them. The puppy is one thing, but Papa seems quite taken with the other one that he is calling JJ. He keeps saying that he would like to keep her because she follows him. I WILL FOLLOW HIM.

Gramma says this feeling I have is called jealousy and will make me crazy! She sat me down and held my head in her hands and promised me that Papa would always love me the best. She also promised that Sadie and JJ would be going to the dog pound to stay until they found good homes. I feel bad for them now. Gramma put them in the store for the night. She told me they were just borrowing my kennel. She put some towels in it to keep them warm. It gets colder in the store than in our house.

This thing she called jealousy makes you have mean thoughts and I am sorry that I was thinking such mean things ......... things I won't even mention, about those two dogs. Gramma told me that Papa found them in a ditch. She said they had been abandoned with no food and nothing to keep them warm and safe. I feel really bad now. Gramma says this is called animal cruelty and she does not like people who are mean to helpless animals.

So, I guess this letter is to let you know that cruelty to animals is a bad, bad thing ......... but so is jealousy.

Until I write again, I remain your dog-friend, Wall-E

Beware Of The Mop

Dear Max,

Last time I wrote you a letter I warned you about the vacuum and sweaters. Today I want to talk about the mop.

As everyone knows, I do not like wet weather and it has been raining for two whole days now. I am not a big fan of snow either, but it is fun to run and slide around in. When it is raining I do not want to take my necessary business outside. I am not alone, Oscar objects to peeing in the rain, too. Toni does not care, she just likes to go outside. Emmy will go out and do her business, but wants to come right back in. Toni likes to gallop through the yard in any weather. Toni has been known to squat and pee in the floor, too. No matter how many times she is let out. She is getting better.

But, back to the last two days of cold rain. Early this morning, Gramma took Oscar, Emmy and Toni out. I can hold it until Papa wakes up, so I scooted over to Gramma's warm spot and took over the covers on that side of the bed. I heard them come back in and soon I felt Toni jumping on the bed. Then, I heard Gramma ask Oscar just what he thought he was up to. She did not sound pleased. Next thing I knew, Gramma was flinging back the covers and getting back in bed to get her feet warm. Papa was getting up and Gramma informed him that his dog had not been out yet (she was talking about me). Papa asked what Oscar had done. Oscar went out with the girl dogs, but stood next to the door crying to come back in. The girls did their business, but Oscar came in and went into the living room and pooped on the floor!!

Gramma told Papa that Oscar could not have a treat and she reminded Papa that I needed to go out. She was holding Emmy and kissing her and talking to her when I left the room and followed Papa... I wanted everything to just look normal. I got up before Gramma took the others out and I thought I should let her sleep, for her health, you know. So I kind of took care of my business in the hall and hid it under a rug. Hey, I was trying to be considerate! And ....... I figured she would think that Toni did it.

Gramma got up and made that vile tasting stuff she calls coffee. I saw her find the evidence of my night time business and clean it up. She did not say a word. I thought I would hear her call out "TONI LOUISE!!" But, she didn't. She drank the coffee. Okay, this stuff called coffee is hot and nasty tasting. Gramma drinks it black, really, that is what she calls it. If you see a cup of stuff that is hot with steam coming out, DO NOT taste it. It is awful and it will burn your tongue. Oscar says that if the cup is cold and Gramma is calling it iced coffee and it is not black, but a light color to go ahead with a taste. He likes it and says that it will make you want to run and run. I wonder if the puppy called Toni has been into some of this iced coffee .........

After Gramma sipped down two cups of the coffee, she grabbed the mop bucket and warned us dogs to make ourselves scarce. Of course, Toni did not listen, she never does. She followed Gramma and watched her fill the bucket with hot water and add bleach and floor cleaner. I was hiding under the table in front of the couch and Oscar and Emmy were on the couch. Gramma had just made all of us go outside and pee. Then she started fussing at each and every one of us! Well, not Emmy. Emmy is always so good and I have tried to hate her, but she is always so nice to me, I can't.

She asked Oscar if he thought she wanted to be mopping. Then she asked me if I thought she did not know that I was the one who made the mess in the hall. Then she told Toni to stop leaping in the air and to stop trying to grab the mop. You aren't supposed to try to answer these questions. Oscar and I were sitting together on the couch and Oscar told me that she must want to be mopping, since that is exactly what she was doing. I was amazed that she knew I was the culprit in the hall incident and Oscar just laughed at me. She fussed the entire time she was mopping. It was a long job, too. A three bucket affair. Every time she had to change the water she would tell us dogs to just look at the nasty water. Toni took it literally and would run over and stick her head in the bucket and sniff. Gramma would then tell her that bad dogs peed on the floor and Toni would wag her tail and then look at us and whisper "whatever". I have told you that Toni is not all that bright, haven't I?

Now the house smells like a pool smells. Gramma likes bleach. She says it smells clean. She told us dogs that she was going to crack down on the offenders that pee in her house. She said that we would all get to see what it would be like to live in a dog house if we kept it up.

I am confused. I thought that "being in the dog house" was just one of those things that Gramma says. Now I find out from Oscar that some dogs actually live outside and have a house that is built for dogs. This is not funny. I could not do this! How does a dog stay warm? Does Papa go out into this house for dogs and build a tiny fire to lay close to? Sometimes when I am cold, Gramma will put a blanket in the clothes dryer and then wrap me in it and I feel all toasty and warm. She does it for Papa, too. Gramma is nice like that. Toni might like the idea of staying outside in a house for dogs, but I am not going to! Oscar says that he has heard this threat before and that he is confidant that Gramma would never follow through. Emmy says that she knows that Gramma would never put her outside, but that she will not pee on the floor on purpose. I am worried, though. I really, really would not want to live in a house made for dogs. I like living in a house made for people and sitting with Gramma on the couch and sleeping with Papa in a bed with covers to keep me warm.

But, I was writing this letter to warn you about mop buckets. Never, never try to jump into a mop bucket. You are a small dog and you would not be able to get out. You could drown! That would make my boy very sad. Oh, the same goes for toilets. Be very careful, okay?

Your wise dog-friend, Wall-E

Sweaters .....

Dear Max,

It has been awhile. Gramma has been really crabby lately. Papa tells us dogs to be extra good and do what she says until she feels better. I hope that is soon, because I am very stressed myself. I am caught in the middle here.



As you know, Oscar is not the most obedient dog. Oscar is the boss of all us dogs here and Papa says he is the boss of Gramma, too. Last night he bit Papa!! Papa was just trying to pick him up and put him on the couch. He was whining for Gramma to pick him up. He is old and can't jump up there anymore. Papa was just trying to help and he bit Papa! I could not believe it. And he did not get in trouble. Gramma just picked him up and put him where he wanted to be. She told Papa that he was just letting him know that she was his master. See what I mean, she has gone a little nuts!

Emmy is always good. Really, even us other dogs know this. She has been feeling better since she started eating special food with medicine in it. She still can't see too well. See how cloudy her eyes look? She gets cold, so Gramma put a sweater on her. Emmy likes to wear these sweaters and she is happy.

For some reason, Gramma decided that I was cold, too. Gramma said her toes were cold and she got Emmy's sweater and put it on her. Emmy and I were sitting together on the couch on Gramma's favorite Coca-Cola afghan. Then Gramma started over with the sweater. She was trying to trick me, though. She thought I did not see that other sweater she had. I am too smart for her, though. I jumped down lickity-split and hid under a chair. She told me to come out and I remembered that Papa had told me to be good, so I did. I guess you can see that I am wearing the sweater.

She also got the vacuum out and took all the cushion off the sofa and loveseat. I had some yummy treats hiding there. Not anymore. The puppy called Toni actually went up to that vacuum and sniffed it. Gramma let her see how it sucks up things. There is something seriously wrong with the puppy called Toni. She was not scared at all. She put her face right up to that thing that was sucking up everything! I am terrified that I will be sucked away and I steer clear of the vacuum. It also makes lots of noise and that makes my ears hurt. What is wrong with the puppy called Toni?

Toni does not have to wear a sweater. Oscar doesn't either. Gramma says they are hot natured. Maybe the puppy called Toni is, but Oscar just refuses to wear one. Toni has a longer and thicker fur coat than I do. She never gets under the covers with the rest of us dogs at night. Oscar will sometimes sleep under covers, but not always like me and Emmy do.

Don't tell anyone, but the sweater does feel pretty good. Do you wear sweaters? I hope that you are not cold. Gramma says that it is cold at your house. Just let your boy know if you want one of these sweaters. I have more than one and will be happy to share with you.

Your warm dog-friend, Wall-E