Jealousy and Cruelty To Animals

Dear Max,

Today has been very trying, let me tell you! I hope you never have to experience the kind of day I am having. It started out normal enough ........

Gramma had her coffee while sitting on the couch with us dogs. It was my turn to sit closest to her leg and she would take a sip of coffee, then pet my head and then look at her computer again. She reads her e-mails and sometimes she even talks to the computer. I know that you can video chat on-line, but that is not what she is doing. She just says what she is thinking out loud.

After the coffee was gone, she headed into the kitchen. First she fed us dogs and changed our water. Then she put some clothes in that machine that washes them. She mumbled something about Papa needing to be more careful when he was playing in oil and doing stuff with cars. Then she started making cookies. Emmy ran to tell all of us dogs to be on stand-by. We like it when she is making yummy stuff like cookies. Sometimes she spills stuff and one time she even dropped a whole pan of freshly baked cookies. All of dogs still remember that day as one of the best days we ever had!

I was in the kitchen, on the look-out, when I heard Papa come up in his truck. Actually, I heard the puppy called Toni barking her special bark that lets us all know that Papa is outside. Gramma went back to put something else in the machine that washes clothes and Papa walked into the kitchen. Max, my little friend, I could not believe my eyes!

Papa was carrying a little puppy in his arms! I have never felt so betrayed!


That is not all ......... there was another dog right outside our door!! Why would Papa want more dogs? Why did he think it would be okay to put this girl dog in my kennel? MY KENNEL!


And the little puppy? Gramma gave her a bath and started calling her Sadie. Oh, this is not a good sign! Toni ran right up to this puppy who is stealing Gramma's affection. I just continued barking at the intruder, even when Gramma scolded me.

While it is true that I came into this home and was an intruder at first, I am not ready to share with yet another dog. It is also true that I did not like Toni at first, but really like her a lot now. I did not like you either and cannot express how happy I was when we left you with my boy on that trip. But, I like you okay now. I really like teaching you things you need to know.

Hey, maybe Gramma is getting the puppy known as Sadie ready for one of Gavin's cousins!! Now, that would be okay. I remember that one of the very first things she did when you came in our house was to bathe you ......... she bathed Toni right away, too ..... and she is still here. And there are TWO of them. The puppy is one thing, but Papa seems quite taken with the other one that he is calling JJ. He keeps saying that he would like to keep her because she follows him. I WILL FOLLOW HIM.

Gramma says this feeling I have is called jealousy and will make me crazy! She sat me down and held my head in her hands and promised me that Papa would always love me the best. She also promised that Sadie and JJ would be going to the dog pound to stay until they found good homes. I feel bad for them now. Gramma put them in the store for the night. She told me they were just borrowing my kennel. She put some towels in it to keep them warm. It gets colder in the store than in our house.

This thing she called jealousy makes you have mean thoughts and I am sorry that I was thinking such mean things ......... things I won't even mention, about those two dogs. Gramma told me that Papa found them in a ditch. She said they had been abandoned with no food and nothing to keep them warm and safe. I feel really bad now. Gramma says this is called animal cruelty and she does not like people who are mean to helpless animals.

So, I guess this letter is to let you know that cruelty to animals is a bad, bad thing ......... but so is jealousy.

Until I write again, I remain your dog-friend, Wall-E

Beware Of The Mop

Dear Max,

Last time I wrote you a letter I warned you about the vacuum and sweaters. Today I want to talk about the mop.

As everyone knows, I do not like wet weather and it has been raining for two whole days now. I am not a big fan of snow either, but it is fun to run and slide around in. When it is raining I do not want to take my necessary business outside. I am not alone, Oscar objects to peeing in the rain, too. Toni does not care, she just likes to go outside. Emmy will go out and do her business, but wants to come right back in. Toni likes to gallop through the yard in any weather. Toni has been known to squat and pee in the floor, too. No matter how many times she is let out. She is getting better.

But, back to the last two days of cold rain. Early this morning, Gramma took Oscar, Emmy and Toni out. I can hold it until Papa wakes up, so I scooted over to Gramma's warm spot and took over the covers on that side of the bed. I heard them come back in and soon I felt Toni jumping on the bed. Then, I heard Gramma ask Oscar just what he thought he was up to. She did not sound pleased. Next thing I knew, Gramma was flinging back the covers and getting back in bed to get her feet warm. Papa was getting up and Gramma informed him that his dog had not been out yet (she was talking about me). Papa asked what Oscar had done. Oscar went out with the girl dogs, but stood next to the door crying to come back in. The girls did their business, but Oscar came in and went into the living room and pooped on the floor!!

Gramma told Papa that Oscar could not have a treat and she reminded Papa that I needed to go out. She was holding Emmy and kissing her and talking to her when I left the room and followed Papa... I wanted everything to just look normal. I got up before Gramma took the others out and I thought I should let her sleep, for her health, you know. So I kind of took care of my business in the hall and hid it under a rug. Hey, I was trying to be considerate! And ....... I figured she would think that Toni did it.

Gramma got up and made that vile tasting stuff she calls coffee. I saw her find the evidence of my night time business and clean it up. She did not say a word. I thought I would hear her call out "TONI LOUISE!!" But, she didn't. She drank the coffee. Okay, this stuff called coffee is hot and nasty tasting. Gramma drinks it black, really, that is what she calls it. If you see a cup of stuff that is hot with steam coming out, DO NOT taste it. It is awful and it will burn your tongue. Oscar says that if the cup is cold and Gramma is calling it iced coffee and it is not black, but a light color to go ahead with a taste. He likes it and says that it will make you want to run and run. I wonder if the puppy called Toni has been into some of this iced coffee .........

After Gramma sipped down two cups of the coffee, she grabbed the mop bucket and warned us dogs to make ourselves scarce. Of course, Toni did not listen, she never does. She followed Gramma and watched her fill the bucket with hot water and add bleach and floor cleaner. I was hiding under the table in front of the couch and Oscar and Emmy were on the couch. Gramma had just made all of us go outside and pee. Then she started fussing at each and every one of us! Well, not Emmy. Emmy is always so good and I have tried to hate her, but she is always so nice to me, I can't.

She asked Oscar if he thought she wanted to be mopping. Then she asked me if I thought she did not know that I was the one who made the mess in the hall. Then she told Toni to stop leaping in the air and to stop trying to grab the mop. You aren't supposed to try to answer these questions. Oscar and I were sitting together on the couch and Oscar told me that she must want to be mopping, since that is exactly what she was doing. I was amazed that she knew I was the culprit in the hall incident and Oscar just laughed at me. She fussed the entire time she was mopping. It was a long job, too. A three bucket affair. Every time she had to change the water she would tell us dogs to just look at the nasty water. Toni took it literally and would run over and stick her head in the bucket and sniff. Gramma would then tell her that bad dogs peed on the floor and Toni would wag her tail and then look at us and whisper "whatever". I have told you that Toni is not all that bright, haven't I?

Now the house smells like a pool smells. Gramma likes bleach. She says it smells clean. She told us dogs that she was going to crack down on the offenders that pee in her house. She said that we would all get to see what it would be like to live in a dog house if we kept it up.

I am confused. I thought that "being in the dog house" was just one of those things that Gramma says. Now I find out from Oscar that some dogs actually live outside and have a house that is built for dogs. This is not funny. I could not do this! How does a dog stay warm? Does Papa go out into this house for dogs and build a tiny fire to lay close to? Sometimes when I am cold, Gramma will put a blanket in the clothes dryer and then wrap me in it and I feel all toasty and warm. She does it for Papa, too. Gramma is nice like that. Toni might like the idea of staying outside in a house for dogs, but I am not going to! Oscar says that he has heard this threat before and that he is confidant that Gramma would never follow through. Emmy says that she knows that Gramma would never put her outside, but that she will not pee on the floor on purpose. I am worried, though. I really, really would not want to live in a house made for dogs. I like living in a house made for people and sitting with Gramma on the couch and sleeping with Papa in a bed with covers to keep me warm.

But, I was writing this letter to warn you about mop buckets. Never, never try to jump into a mop bucket. You are a small dog and you would not be able to get out. You could drown! That would make my boy very sad. Oh, the same goes for toilets. Be very careful, okay?

Your wise dog-friend, Wall-E

Sweaters .....

Dear Max,

It has been awhile. Gramma has been really crabby lately. Papa tells us dogs to be extra good and do what she says until she feels better. I hope that is soon, because I am very stressed myself. I am caught in the middle here.



As you know, Oscar is not the most obedient dog. Oscar is the boss of all us dogs here and Papa says he is the boss of Gramma, too. Last night he bit Papa!! Papa was just trying to pick him up and put him on the couch. He was whining for Gramma to pick him up. He is old and can't jump up there anymore. Papa was just trying to help and he bit Papa! I could not believe it. And he did not get in trouble. Gramma just picked him up and put him where he wanted to be. She told Papa that he was just letting him know that she was his master. See what I mean, she has gone a little nuts!

Emmy is always good. Really, even us other dogs know this. She has been feeling better since she started eating special food with medicine in it. She still can't see too well. See how cloudy her eyes look? She gets cold, so Gramma put a sweater on her. Emmy likes to wear these sweaters and she is happy.

For some reason, Gramma decided that I was cold, too. Gramma said her toes were cold and she got Emmy's sweater and put it on her. Emmy and I were sitting together on the couch on Gramma's favorite Coca-Cola afghan. Then Gramma started over with the sweater. She was trying to trick me, though. She thought I did not see that other sweater she had. I am too smart for her, though. I jumped down lickity-split and hid under a chair. She told me to come out and I remembered that Papa had told me to be good, so I did. I guess you can see that I am wearing the sweater.

She also got the vacuum out and took all the cushion off the sofa and loveseat. I had some yummy treats hiding there. Not anymore. The puppy called Toni actually went up to that vacuum and sniffed it. Gramma let her see how it sucks up things. There is something seriously wrong with the puppy called Toni. She was not scared at all. She put her face right up to that thing that was sucking up everything! I am terrified that I will be sucked away and I steer clear of the vacuum. It also makes lots of noise and that makes my ears hurt. What is wrong with the puppy called Toni?

Toni does not have to wear a sweater. Oscar doesn't either. Gramma says they are hot natured. Maybe the puppy called Toni is, but Oscar just refuses to wear one. Toni has a longer and thicker fur coat than I do. She never gets under the covers with the rest of us dogs at night. Oscar will sometimes sleep under covers, but not always like me and Emmy do.

Don't tell anyone, but the sweater does feel pretty good. Do you wear sweaters? I hope that you are not cold. Gramma says that it is cold at your house. Just let your boy know if you want one of these sweaters. I have more than one and will be happy to share with you.

Your warm dog-friend, Wall-E

Hambones and Antlers

Dear Max,

Things have been crazy here at the kampground. Gramma has been pulling up flowers! Us dogs look out the window and there she is pulling up her flowers! If us dogs bother her flowers, she gets really upset. Has the world gone mad? Why is Gramma pulling up her flowers? They are brown and dead looking, but she usually leaves them in the ground until spring time and then she pulls them up.

That is not all that is crazy here. Yesterday Gramma gave a big bone to the puppy called Toni. She gave a smaller bone to me. She made us go outside and she gave a much smaller bone to Oscar and let him stay inside. Emmy got a soft chew treat. Okay, I understand why Emmy didn't get a bone ..... she has hardly any teeth. Oscar is fat, so he gets a very small one. But, I ask you, why was my treat smaller than Toni's???

It didn't matter anyway, 'cause Toni brought the big ham bone in the house and she left it unattended and Oscar got it. Then Oscar left it and I pounced on it. There was some snarling and growling involved and then Gramma got involved. She smacked her flyswatter on the table and told us that if she heard one more growl, that ham bone was going into the trash. The trash!! She wouldn't ........... would she? Emmy assured us all that Gramma was as good as her word and that if we didn't share nicely, we would lose our ham bone. It was a very trying day. Toni tried to bring the bone into the bed last night and that is when Gramma confiscated it. We haven't seen it since.

Today Gramma showed me this picture of you and Gavin. Did I teach you nothing? You are not supposed to look happy and content wearing such foolishness. I know that you are small and cannot stop them, but do not look content when they do this to you. Oh, I feel I should tell you, this get-up you are wearing was designed for a cat! A cat, I tell you! Talk about lack of dignity.

First of all, when you see them getting this stuff out to put it on you ...... run! Try to have a pre-determined hiding place and go there. If they catch you and start to put antlers on your head, shake it violently from side to side. Roll onto your back and use your paws to block them. For heavens sake you have a ruffle and bells around your neck. Have you seen yourself? It is not pretty. Have some dignity!

Until next time, I remain, your older, wiser friend, Wall-E

You Have Grown!

Dear Max,

Wow! You are so big. You look like you are twice as big as when we took you to Gavin. Soon you might be as big as me. Gramma says that you won't grow to be as big as I am, but that's okay. I kind of like that you will always be smaller than me. What I don't like is Gramma and Papa drooling over this picture of you. I was a cute puppy once ........ I was.


Gramma was all like, "Oh how cute is he!!" when she saw this picture of you sleeping. She said that you were in a new bed. I have a whole kennel. Oh, I forgot, you have one, too. Well, I can jump up on Gramma's bed ....... so there.

I have to admit that my boy looks very happy holding you. Don't bite him! I have mixed feelings about this picture. I think I need to go get in Papa's lap now. I know I chose to stay with Papa, well, really it was Papa's choice. But, I miss my boy.

Could you please give my boy some licks from me? Thanks.

Your thankful friend, Wall-E

Nail Clippers

Dear Max,

Gramma is tricky, I tell you! Pay close attention to your people, they will try to trick you!

Gramma has dog toenail clippers. She swears to me that it will not hurt when she clips my nails. I do not like for anyone to touch my paws! And these nail clippers look like torture devices. Oscar is also opposed to having this done. It is very traumatic for both of us. Emmy will simply lay there while Gramma clips away and then she will even take scissors and trim the hair on Emmy's paws. I have mentioned that Emmy is somewhat of a goody two shoes, haven't I?

Wait, how can she be a goody two shoes? She does not wear shoes and if she did, she would need four, not two, Where do these sayings come from? Emmy does whatever Gramma wants her to do and never complains or growls about it. I would say that it is a girl thing, but now that I have met the puppy called Toni, I know better.

Back to the clippers. Gramma was trying to convince me to let her clip my nails last night. She would hold my paw in her hands and tell me that I would feel much better if she let me cut them. She is wrong about that. She would feel much better if I let her cut my nails. I cried and growled and carried on and she let go of my paw. We watched a little TV and then got ready for bed. I kept an eye on Gramma to make sure that she didn't pick up those silver clippers and bring them to bed. This has happened before. I have been all drowsy and happy tucked in next to Papa and she has whipped out those evil clippers and clipped off my nails before I knew what she was up to. See what I mean about being tricky?

Now that I am wise to her tricks I always watch her when we are headed to bed. I am one smart dog, you know. Well, I thought I was. Last night, right after she lifted Oscar into the bed, She picked up my front paw and slipped the clippers over my nail and "POP". SHE CLIPPED MY TOENAIL!!! She had a different pair of clippers hidden in the bedroom! These were not silver, they were black!

This is not fair, you know. Papa says that Gramma plays by her own rules when it comes to us dogs beig clean. What does clean have to do with my nails? I was so shocked last night I didn't even have time to yelp! Gramma was right, it didn't hurt, but I won't tell her that. Just be careful and watch Gavin's mom closely. She mght be as tricky as Gramma!

Your watchful friend, Wall-E

Weight

Dear Max,

Gramma tells me that you are growing. I heard her telling Papa that you now weigh three and 1/2 pounds! Gee, I wonder how much I weigh ........ I wonder why no one is weighing me. Now that I think about it, I have never heard them talk about my weight. Gramma always calls Emmy 6 pounds of pure love. I heard Papa say that Oscar must weigh 20 pounds and that he is fat. Why don't they care how much I weigh?

Oh, sorry, I got a little side tracked there. I wonder about things, you know. Okay, you weigh more than when you were here and Gramma seems to be quite pleased about it. Be careful, though. You don't want to get fat like Oscar. Oscar is a greedy eater. He won't let us other dogs eat until he has all he wants. Gramma serves up some tasty kibble. There are different flavored morsels in it and Oscar always eats all the best ones and leaves the plain stuff for me. Emmy refuses to be bullied by his antics and he knows better than to growl at her. She can't bite him anymore, most of her teeth are gone. But Gramma has a fly swatter and she is not afraid to use it!

Oh, you need to know what a fly swatter is. It has a piece of plastic mesh at the end of a handle about two feet long. It is designed to kill pesky flies. Gramma uses it for the purpose it was intended, but she will also use it on a dog's hind quarter should that dog misbehave. It stings. You do not want to be on the receiving end of this fly killing machine. I have had it applied to my backside and I have to admit, it does make me think before I act. These fly swatters come in a variety of colors, so don't be fooled like I was if your person should have more than one.

I must go wake Oscar and find out how a dog gets weighed. I want to know how much I weigh, well, unless it hurts to have this done. I wonder why my weight has never been the topic of conversation here at Gramma's house. Gramma said that I was a tiny pup like you and she found my old collar and you actually wore it when we took you to Gavin. I wonder how much I weighed then. I need to know. Also, the time will be changing tomorrow. Gramma has been singing a song about turning back time so that she won't forget. I don't know why these things happen, but if I find out I will let you know.

Your timeless friend, Wall-E

My Story

Dear Max,

I promised to tell you my story ...... well the reason I don't go and live with my boy. It all began a long time ago, when I was just a pup, myself.



I lived with my boy and his mom in an apartment. The apartment was nice and I loved being with my boy and playing with him. But, Gavin's mom had to go to work every day and Gavin went to daycare. That meant that I had to stay in my kennel all day long and wait for them to come home. I was very young and I was lonely, so I cried and I yelped and the neighbors could hear my distress and they began to complain. Gavin's mom tried taking me to daycare with Gavin. I liked that! There were other dogs there and I liked to run and play with them in a yard.

I was okay with this arrangement. I got to be with my boy all day long and I got to play with Minnie and Molly (they are Boston Terriers). They lived with Gavin's daycare provider. His name was Grampa Don. He liked me, too. That is where the problem started. Grampa Don and Gramma Jan were becoming very attached to me and me to them. I have to confess that I liked their house better than the apartment. They had a door that opened into the yard and I could just run out there whenever I needed to. The apartment was upstairs and in order to go outside I had to have a lead attached to my collar, then go out the door to the elevator (sometimes I had to wait for it) and then out two more doors and then on to the dog park. Think about it ......... first thing in the morning, after a nice long sleep, you wake with a full bladder .......... I tell you, it is awful to have to wait to relieve yourself ( that means to go pee).

I met Gramma when she came to see Gavin. She told Gavin's mom that I was a homely little fellow. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I peed on her bare foot when we woke up the next day. Little did I know that I would be living at Gramma's house in the future.

Not long after Gramma came to see Gavin, your mom called her and told her that she would have to come get me. Gramma said that she was not ready to have another dog. That was right after her Collie, Sarge died and then the Saint Bernard, Louise died just months later. Emmy tells me that Gramma was very sad and that she cried a lot. Gramma loves her pets, you know.
I listened while your mom was talking. She told Gramma that all she was going to say was that she should consider the fact that her grandson was in love with his little white dog (me).

As much as Gramma loves her pets, she loves her grandchildren even more. So, the next thing I knew, Gramma was knocking on your door. She was not alone, though. Papa was with her, of course, but so were Oscar and Emmy. I was scared of Oscar! He came into my territory and he let me know that he was the boss ........... in MY space. I knew then that he was not afraid of anything. Emmy was just Emmy. She just goes with the flow and is sweet around everyone. She is Oscar's wife dog. She seems pretty meek, but she does not let Oscar bully her. I have heard that she has even had to bite him! I was not afraid of her, though, just him.

When Gramma and Papa started to leave I noticed that Gavin's mom was packing up all my toys and my kennel and me! Papa put my big kennel in Gramma's tiny car. He was grumbling about how big it was and how much stuff I had and how long he would have to drive. He was grouchy and I was afraid of him, too. Gramma shushed him. Gavin was crying and Gramma was crying and hugging Gavin. Gavin's mom picked him up and held him as they waved goodbye and Papa drove away with Gramma and three dogs.

I was so scared. Oscar kept snarling at me as I trembled in my kennel. Gramma patted me and tried to comfort me while Papa grumbled about why we had to bring the kennel. Gramma told him that I needed my kennel because it had my boy's smells in it and would comfort me. Did I tell you that Gramma is wise? We drove a long, long time and then we were at Gramma and Papa's house. When I came inside I was in for another shock. There was a cat! His name was Gremlin and he was very mean to me. He was sitting on the back of the couch and waving his long tail at me. I thought he wanted to be friends with me. I tried to grab his tail and he swatted me in the face and snarled at me. Thank goodness he did not have claws!

It was scary at first and Gramma had to hold me a lot, but I like it here. I have a yard with a fence and I can go out when I need to. Gramma is here almost all the time. When she is at work, she is just on the other side of a half door. Us dogs can hear her and see her. We live in a kampground and lots of people and dogs come and stay, then leave. I like to meet people and Gramma says that I am very friendly and mostly obedient.

Papa and I became the best of friends. Oscar and Emmy sleep with Gramma and Papa. Papa said that since we had to bring my kennel with me that I was going to have to sleep in it. I was sad and I missed my boy and I would cry. Gramma said it was a pitiful cry and asked Papa how he could bear to listen to it. Papa finally brought me into the bed. I was going to sleep next to Gramma, but Oscar was already there and growled at me. Emmy moved away from Papa and I snuggled next to him. After that, Papa started playing with me and teaching me tricks. Whenever Papa would sit down I would get in his lap. Papa said that I was the very first dog that had ever liked him more than they liked Gramma.

So, I suppose you could say that not only do I have a boy, but I have a man, too. Papa needs me, you see. I keep him warm at night and I am still the only dog that loves him best. Even the puppy called Toni that he rescued from the dog pound prefers Gramma. I have to stay here, you see, for Papa. The last time Gavin came to see me he wanted to take me home to his new house. I was torn, because I love them both .... Gavin and Papa.

Gramma was angry at Papa for loving me so much that he could not let me go. She admitted that she would miss me, too and be worried about me. Gramma says that I have been socialized and would need a companion. She was right. I do not like to be alone and I would not like to be the only animal in a house. So that is how I came to live here with Papa and be his number one dog. Don't tell Oscar I said this. He still thinks he is the boss. Emmy says it is best to let him continue to think so.

I need to go out and play with the puppy called Toni now, but I will be back with more advice soon.

Your mentor dog, Wall-E

Advice

Dear Max,

I did not think it would be possible to miss you, but I do. Maybe not as much as the puppy called Toni. She ran round and round searching for you upon our return from the trip that took you to Gavin. She is still learning things .......... like you. But she has three older dogs to teach her. You only have people. People are good. They take care of you and feed you and keep you clean and safe. But, another dog to show you the ropes is priceless. I heard that on TV. The priceless thing. I have been waiting ever so long to use it.

I am lucky. I had Oscar and Emmy to teach me things. Oscar says that when he came to live with Gramma there were already dogs in her house. A Collie, named Sarge, and a Saint Bernard, named Louise. He said that Sarge taught him lots of stuff. Sarge was wise and he was a good dog, too. He was Gramma's dog. He showed Oscar how to behave. Louise did, too. Mostly she showed him how not to behave! She was in trouble ......... a lot!

Oscar gets in trouble, too. Sometimes he thinks Gramma doesn't pay enough attention to us dogs and he will act very bad to get Gramma's attention. This is not the kind of attention you want. Gramma tells Oscar that it is a good thing she loves him, or he might find himself at the dog pound. The dog pound ..... are you wondering what that is? Well, it is not good to be at the dog pound. That is where Papa got the puppy called Toni.

This is where dogs and puppies without homes go. Toni told us other dogs here that you have to live in a kennel and people come through and look at you. She said the lucky ones get to go home with people. She is one of the lucky ones. She got to come live here with Gramma and Papa and us other dogs. I think you should know that you are lucky, too. The lady who gave you to Gramma was headed for the pound with you and all your brother and sister dogs!!

Gramma was just going to take a little peek at you and your litter mates. She had absolutely no intention of getting another dog. She said that four dogs is her limit. But, she saw you. She said she scooped you up into her hand and then she called Papa and told him to come to the store. Papa said he was busy and did not want to look at puppies. He said, "No way are we getting another dog!!" Gramma told him to hush and high-tail it to the front of the building before she came to get him. He did and when he saw you, he looked at Gramma and she looked at him and they both said Gavin at the same time. Gavin is your boy.

Gavin was my boy first. That will be your very first lesson. I was Gavin's first dog. You need to remember that. I was number one. Boys never forget their first dog. Gramma says so. Really. It has been my experience that Gramma knows things. A lot of things. That will be lesson number two. Gramma knows everything. I am not sure just how old she is, but she has lived a long, long time. Oh, and I think you should know that Gavin's mom, the one who no doubt feeds you .... she is Gramma's daughter. She is not nearly as wise as Gramma, but I have heard Gramma say that she is a force to be reckoned with. This means that you have to do what she tells you ..... or else there will be dire consequences. Dire means not so good.

So, this letter is to let you know that I will be writing from time to time to give you advice and help you learn to be the kind of dog my boy deserves. You might be wondering why I just didn't go live with my boy. It is a long story and I will share it with you in my next letter. Until then, just remember that a wagging tail and a cute trick will get you out of most situations.

Your faithful teacher dog, Wall-E