Weight

Dear Max,

Gramma tells me that you are growing. I heard her telling Papa that you now weigh three and 1/2 pounds! Gee, I wonder how much I weigh ........ I wonder why no one is weighing me. Now that I think about it, I have never heard them talk about my weight. Gramma always calls Emmy 6 pounds of pure love. I heard Papa say that Oscar must weigh 20 pounds and that he is fat. Why don't they care how much I weigh?

Oh, sorry, I got a little side tracked there. I wonder about things, you know. Okay, you weigh more than when you were here and Gramma seems to be quite pleased about it. Be careful, though. You don't want to get fat like Oscar. Oscar is a greedy eater. He won't let us other dogs eat until he has all he wants. Gramma serves up some tasty kibble. There are different flavored morsels in it and Oscar always eats all the best ones and leaves the plain stuff for me. Emmy refuses to be bullied by his antics and he knows better than to growl at her. She can't bite him anymore, most of her teeth are gone. But Gramma has a fly swatter and she is not afraid to use it!

Oh, you need to know what a fly swatter is. It has a piece of plastic mesh at the end of a handle about two feet long. It is designed to kill pesky flies. Gramma uses it for the purpose it was intended, but she will also use it on a dog's hind quarter should that dog misbehave. It stings. You do not want to be on the receiving end of this fly killing machine. I have had it applied to my backside and I have to admit, it does make me think before I act. These fly swatters come in a variety of colors, so don't be fooled like I was if your person should have more than one.

I must go wake Oscar and find out how a dog gets weighed. I want to know how much I weigh, well, unless it hurts to have this done. I wonder why my weight has never been the topic of conversation here at Gramma's house. Gramma said that I was a tiny pup like you and she found my old collar and you actually wore it when we took you to Gavin. I wonder how much I weighed then. I need to know. Also, the time will be changing tomorrow. Gramma has been singing a song about turning back time so that she won't forget. I don't know why these things happen, but if I find out I will let you know.

Your timeless friend, Wall-E